What were reunions like before Facebook?

So last night I was the +1 at my wife’s 20^th high school reunion.  Neither of us had ever been to a reunion before so it was a new experience for both of us.  I didn’t grow up in the same town as my wife (not even the same state) and we don’t spend much time their anymore having moved away, and on, with our lives.  I knew I wasn’t going to know anyone and I don’t drink anymore so the free drink tickets weren’t of much help.  So I decided to get my $75 worth by stuffing my face with appetizers, cheese and crackers, lots of little desserts, and of course, people watching.

 

As I chowed down on bacon-wrapped scallops, chicken satay, and some weird little mousse concoctions, I gazed around the room as my wife caught up with some of her old swimming buddies.  It’s somewhat odd to be in a room with several hundred people knowing that at least half of them (subtract out the +1’s) were all basically the same age.  Yet if you didn’t know that, you would NEVER have guessed it.  There were those who clearly never left home, never grew up, and never aged one bit.  There were others, my wife included, who looked matured but still very much in their younger years.  And then there were those who looked like they had lived a hard life, aged, perhaps with a little too much time under the tanning lamps.  Could all these people really be from the same high school class?

 

The band played a mix of music with a slight affinity for early 90’s music.  Those brave soles that ventured out onto the dance floor flashed back to their youth, flinging their bodies around the floor with a total disregard for their ego and the safety of others around them, drinks in hand.  I found this particularly ironic since the last time most of these people saw each other, it was all about how to sneak beers from their parents’ houses or the local liquor store.  They lip synced to "Ice Ice Baby" and "This Is How We Do It" and took crazy pictures.

 

All the while, my wife chatted with friends she hadn’t seen since heading off to college.  Yet amazingly, they all knew about each other’s jobs, what their kids were interested in, and where they were living now.  We got congrats on the birth of our new baby from people that couldn’t even pronounce our last name.  It was as if we were walking around with our autobiographies plastered to our foreheads.  Which had us wondering, “What were reunions like before Facebook?”

 

I probably know more now about the lives of my friends from high school than I did back then.  Close friends I had completely lost touch with in the years following those four years together now commonly “like” pictures of my family vacations and frequently comment on my statuses.  Without Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instragram and the many other social media outlets where friends from long ago reconnect at deeper levels, what would a class reunion be like?  I guess that’s a mystery that will forever remain unanswered…or I guess I could just ask my mom!

What's a Guy to Do?

For the first time in more years than I can remember, I'm an empty nester.  My kids tracked out from school on Friday, so that night, my wife took them to New England to stay with her parents for the week.  Tomorrow night, she'll return by herself so that we can enjoy some peace and quiet (and some good food) by ourselves to celebrate out tenth anniversary.  But in the meantime, I've got no responsibilities!  So, I ask "What's a Guy to Do?" Should I drink myself into oblivion?  Should I eat McDonald's and Dunkin Donuts for every meal?  Can I sleeping until 11am and go to sleep at three in the morning?

No to all of the above!  It's 7:42am on Sunday and I've already been up for an hour, let the dog out, cleaned up a bit, and now I'm writing a blog post.  After almost eight years of steady wake up calls from screaming babies, then crawling toddlers, and now demanding children, it's pretty much a certainty that this body isn't ever going to sleep late again.

So I'm up, but I should be vegging on the couch, right?  Well, yet again, after all this time paying bills, mowing lawns, grocery shopping, and simply cleaning up behind everyone else in this house, I'm prepared to face the facts that I'm a doer.  If I'm not getting stuff done, I'm thinking about getting stuff done.  So, as they say in these parts, let's just get 'er done.

The good news is that while much of what I've been doing is chores, I'm also focusing this weekend on two of my three passions, while my other passion (my kids) goes lobster fishing.  I was supposed to play golf last night at an outdoor par three course under the lights, but the summer of rain was prevalent once again, so that didn't happen.  But it did give me time to watch Argo, which I had been dying to see.  Good choice by the way.  And it gave me more time to cook up creamed corn for the first time, alongside a stuffed burger I picked up at Whole Foods.

Here's the recipe for the corn (single serving), which was rich and delicious:

Cut off the kernels from two raw ears of corn.  Melt 1 tablespoon of butter on medium-high heat, then add kernels and 1/2 tablespoon of flour.  Cook for five minutes, stirring frequently.  Whisk in 1 cup of milk and a few tablespoons of cream cheese.  Simmer on a low boil for 10 minutes, stirring often until it's thickened.  Add salt and pepper to taste.  I also added a few dashes of Habanero hot sauce.

I'm going to pause here for about 12 hours and finish writing the rest of this post tonight, after I've cooked up a few more delicious meals.  See you soon...

And I'm back.  Did you miss me?  Ok, so today was a cooking and dish washing fest.  I started off by making hash browns using red potatoes and a chili pepper from our garden topped with two sunny-side up eggs and bacon, all cooked, of course, in the bacon fat.

While I had that cooking, I made a batch of tomato sauce with balsamic vinegar using several pints of freshly picked cherry tomatoes, also from our garden.  

Then, once I had chowed down on my breakfast, I baked up two Amish cinnamon breads from a starter my wife had gotten from one of her co-workers a few weeks back.  This is actually the second round of breads we've made, so we'll see if mine comes out as good as my wife's did.  After all that, I took a break to let my pruney hands recover from all the dishes I had to wash.  Thank goodness we have a super wide, deep sink!

I had a small lunch so I'd be plenty hungry for the dinner I planned.  Since my wife is not a fan of mushrooms and I love them, I decided I needed to honor the Great Fungus.  As a treat, I picked up some Chanterelles from Whole Foods.  At $30 a pound, a few would do, about $3 worth.  I also picked up some Crimini mushrooms.  I also planned on fully testing my abilities by making fresh pasta rags, but after mowing and all those dang dishes in the morning, I decided on packaged pasta.  The pasta making will just have to wait for another day.  To go with the pasta, a wild mushroom cream sauce and pan- seared chicken.  Here's how I made it:

I started by pan-searing some chicken breasts in a cast-iron skillet and then finished them in the oven.  When they were done, I sliced them into bite-sized pieces.  In the same pan, back on the stove top, I sautéed some prosciutto to render some of the fat out, and after a few minutes, add some butter, garlic and red pepper flakes.  When the butter melted, I added the sliced mushrooms and some fresh thyme from the garden and cooked for about three minutes.  Then I added about a cup of heavy cream and simmered it down for about five minutes.  Lastly, I added in the cooked pasta and chicken and tossed it through to soak up the sauce.  I plated it up and topped it with some freshly grated Parmesan cheese.

Beautiful wild mushrooms

Prosciutto rendering down

Mushroom and prosciutto simmering in the cream

The final glorious product!

Now I find my belly full and my mind satisfied after a wonderful and relaxing day in the kitchen.  So where did the sports come in to my weekend?  I've got a 7:56am tee time tomorrow with a good buddy.  A great way to top off my home alone weekend!

Why Do People Insist on Lighting Fireworks?

After a short hiatus from my blog writing, I'm back and inspired tonight.  So far, I have shied  away from taking strong stances on controversial issues in my previous posts.  But tonight, I'm a little fired up and feel the need to voice my frustration.

I've just come from the annual July 4th neighborhood block party.  We all had a great time, until about an hour ago.  That's when I had to make a pretty immediate exit with the girls.  Now, the party is still going strong, but I'm sitting in my home office with my kids upstairs doing their best to fall asleep amidst the loud bangs of fireworks coming from up the block.  Several dozen adults with kids ranging in age from two to eighteen all sitting around watching a few of the guys setting up and igniting a wide variety of fireworks purchased just over the border.  It's just another part of the annual tradition, and a tradition that thousands, if not millions, of people around the country partake in. 

And just as lighting the fireworks is a tradition, so is the thousands of ambulance rides to the hospital that follow each year.  Heck, why don't we just grab our guns and have a wild wild west shootout like we're John Wayne.  Ok, so maybe that's a little over the top, but the fact is, everyone's heard of the dangers, and yet everyone continues to do it.  In 2011, 4 people died and 9,600 were treated in emergency rooms for fireworks injuries.

And worst of all tonight was the challenge of trying to teach my two daughters why we don't want them playing with fireworks and sparklers, while watching their friends play with them with the acceptance of their parents.  I'm not sure what was worse, convincing my kids they are too dangerous to play with, or trying to explain that they shouldn't worry about their friends getting hurt.  What a catch-22.

In the end, once the fireworks started, the loud noise was too much for either of them to handle and we headed home crying and with hands over the ears.  So I don't think the desire was there anymore to be a part of the action.  But it made me really think about the best ways to teach my kids right from wrong when there are so many examples of people they trust doing that same wrong all around us.  Tonight it was the fireworks.  Tomorrow I'm sure it will be something else.  I guess this is what it's going to be like now that they've reached the age of being able to understand these types of issues.

Raleigh Fireworks

Let me conclude by saying that I love my neighborhood and all of my friends, and this post is in no way meant to reflect poorly on those involved or to act in specific judgment of them.  I've written several other posts about how wonderful these folks are and how I trust them like family.  But it is meant to ask the general question "Why Do People Insist on Lighting Fireworks?".  After all, so much can go wrong.  Tomorrow there are fireworks in downtown Raleigh run by professionals.  Let them do what they do best, and let us do what we do best...watch.

I know I rarely get many comments on my posts, but I'd love this one to be different.  Please share your personal experiences with fireworks or your thoughts on this topic.  I'd also love to hear how you tackle this types of issues with your kids and teach them to be strong in making good choices when others may not.

Daddy, Can I Take Basketball Lessons?

There are moments parenting when you realize just how much your child is like you. This week was one of those moments. The theme of my blog is sports, food and my kids. And it's clear to me that if my older daughter had her own blog (and she's already asked me if she could), her theme would be sports, food and dad.

It started last week when she got in trouble in school for talking when she shouldn't have. A normal occurrence for her, but this time she swore she wasn't talking and didn't understand why her teacher wasn't very nice. As a kid, I was a big talker, too. And I was also a trusting soul, thinking everybody should be nice and honest. Teaching my daughter that some people just aren't nice and preparing her to deal with it, I could hear my father's voice some 25 years ago.

As the weekend rolled around, my daughter's sports-loving nature shined through. Saturday, she completed her third dance audition in eight days. Ballet, jazz, and finally my favorite - hip hop. In fact, this summer, in addition to playing taxi driver for her to the studio several times a week, I'll haul myself up there for an adult hip hop class. Yeah, she got her dance skills from me. Of course, I was much older than seven when I learned to dance.

At seven, I was dancing around the schoolyard basketball court doing my best MJ. And Sunday, when we arrived at a friend's house for a kids play date and cook out, I quickly took to the pick-up b-ball game going on in the driveway. My younger daughter went inside to find her friend, but my older hugged my hip, dribbling around and taking five foot jump shots, even making a few. She played for over an hour, dripping wet of sweat, stopping only momentarily for water breaks. She even had a ripped pant leg to show for her newly found passion.  By the end of the night, she'd be asking me "Daddy, can I take basketball lessons?"

When we returned home that night, we both hit the showers, and then proceeded to put a delicious bow on the weekend by hanging out in the kitchen and baking a blueberry crumb cake together. She worked on mastering her measurements, artfully placing blueberries on top of the batter I mixed up, and sprinkling streusel on top.

Yes, mini-me is on full display these days and I couldn't be more proud!

What's in a Number?

For today's blog post, I thought I'd play a little game called "What's in a Number?"

20 - Today is Belmont Stakes day.  20 years ago on Belmont Stakes day, June 5 to be exact, I was a senior in high school and it was Prom Night.  For most seniors, it was a night they had looked forward to for four years.  But for me, it meant I couldn't be at the big race.  And as a highly superstitious young man, it also meant I was concerned my dad wouldn't have a great day of wagering.

Beautiful Belmont Park

4 - You see, for the previous 4 Belmont Stakes days, I was by my dad's side as he showed off his handicapping prowess for the world to see, or at least everyone at the track in Elmont, New York those days.  Each of those four consecutive years, my dad had a winning Pick Six ticket for picking the winners of six consecutive races.  And many of those paydays were significant.

5 - I spent my afternoon at home watching the races leading up to the Belmont Stakes on the racing channel.  My dad had called me earlier in the day to let me know which horses he had in his Pick Six bet that day.  As the day went along, it become obvious that perhaps there was just something magical about Belmont Stakes day.  One by one, my dad's pick crossed the finish line first.  By 5pm, he had picked the first 5 races correctly.

5:31 - It was getting close to prom, so I had to start to get ready.  I hopped in for a quick shower, my thoughts split between the upcoming race and my night ahead.  My date for the prom was a good friend of mine and we were sharing a limo with my four buddies and their dates, of which only one was actually a girlfriend.  So there wasn't much of the typical "prom night" talk.  This wasn't the prelude to American Pie.  We were just prepared for a fun party followed by an early morning breakfast before calling it quits.  But for now, it was almost 5:31pm, post time for the 1993 Belmont States.  I jumped out of the shower, wrapped myself up in a towel, and had a seat on the couch.

13 - As the horses loaded in the gate, I took a final note of the odds.  My dad had a few different horses in his Pick Six ticket that would let him cash in, including a few long shots.  One of those was Colonial Affair, a 13-1 long shot ridden by Julie Krone.  Krone was one of the best jockeys in New York and was seeking to become the first female every to ride a Belmont Stakes winner.

Colonial Affair wins the 1993 Belmont Stakes

2:29 - At 5:31, thirteen three year old horses sprung out of the starting gate on their way around the mile and half Belmont course, the largest track in North America (click to watch the race).  With my tuxedo and cummerbund hanging nearby, I watched anxiously, keeping a close on my dad's picks, and holding my breath.  When the horses hit the top of the stretch, that magical feeling began to come over me again.  2 minutes and 29 seconds after they raced away from the gate, Colonial Affair broke the finish line first, followed by Kissin Kris, also at 13-1, and Wild Gale, a 51-1 bomb (racing term for a huge longshot).

6 - Within a minute, the phone rang.  It was my dad.  He had done it again!  But this wasn't just about hitting the Pick 6, his fifth straight on a Belmont Stakes day.  Oh no.  In addition to the Pick Six, my dad also liked Kissin Kris' chances, so he had made a whole bunch of bets that included the top two runners.  He had even thrown in Wild Gale into a few bets, which meant he had hit the exacta and the triple.  We hung on the phone waiting for the payoffs.  We both stared at the infield tote board, my dad in person and me on the tv.  I might not have been there that day, but it sure felt like I was.  And then, in a flash, amazement!

463.60 - The 4-3 exacta paid $463.60.  Not bad for an exacta, but that was nothing compared to what flipped up there next.

18,677 - The 4-3-14 triple, the combination of two 13-1 longshots and the 51-1 bomb, paid $18,677.  Jackpot!  At the time, it was the biggest triple payoff in Belmont Stakes history, a race that had been run for over 100 years.  And we hadn't even seen the Pick Six results yet.

40 - I've search high and low and can't find the exact results from that day, but I believe the Pick Six paid about $20,000 that day.  In a moment, my dad had raked in a cool $40k.  Not too shabby.  Once I stopped screaming for joy, my dad just calmly said to me "Michael, go enjoy your prom."  I took a moment to compose myself, put on my tuxedo and headed out.  Yeah, that's a day many of my high school friends think about a lot.  And it's one of the most exciting memories of their lives.  For me, that day gave me two of the most exciting memories of my life.

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9 - And of course, I've got to make my picks for the day.  I'll keep it simple this time around.  I love the 9, Revolutionary.  He's well rested now and ran a great race in the Kentucky Derby on a muddy track, just like today's conditions at Belmont.  I'll bet $80 to win.  And in the spirit of the twenty anniversary of that enormous triple payoff, I'll throw out the favorite Orb hoping his Derby win is still taking its toll, and go for the big payoff.  I'll still take Revolutionary to win, but I'll pick five long shots hoping to get two of them to run second and third.  So, a $1 triple of 9 (Revolutionary), with 7 (Oxbow), 8 (Midnight Taboo), 11 (Vyjack), 13 (Unlimited Budget) and 14 (Golden Soul), a total best cost of $20.  I'm in the hole now for $300 for all my Triple Crown bets, but I've got a feeling today's going to be another magical Belmont day.  Hey dad, give me a little help, ok?

What's for Dinner?

Three seemingly simple words.  One very basic question.  Yet almost impossible to answer.  "What's for Dinner?"  There are about 2,000 plant species which are cultivated for food.  There are hundreds of proteins to choose from.   And starches..more than enough options.  Dinner can be fried, sautéed, boiled, broiled, poached, steamed, grilled, heck even eaten raw.  So why is it so hard for a family of four to figure out how to nourish itself when the sun begins to set?  The obvious answer to this question is that there's too much to choose from.  But if you ask me, it's a lot more complicated than that.

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.  Which must make dinner those most confrontational.  When you eliminate all of the dislikes, the impossible to get items, the expensive splurge ingredients and the unidentifiable, iced-over packaged goods buried deep in your freezer, you've probably only really got 10-20 possible options.  You would think it would be easy to agree on just one each night.   But it's not, and most nights, coming to a consensus requires a minor war to break out first.  And I think I've boiled it (pun intended) down to a few causes:

• We're just too tired to cook.  There's really no escaping this feeling, especially as the week drags on.  But if we were smart and planned ahead, and maybe watched a few Rachael Ray shows over the weekend, we'd be prepared with an agreed upon menu for the week.  We'd have meals prepared over the weekend for quick reheating or have simple recipes lined up making dinner a snap.
• We were too lazy to defrost something from the freezer last night.  Yes, the day was crazy and we were tired and just wanted to go to bed.  But last night, when our bellies weren't doing their best "Little Shop of Horrors" impression, was the best time to decide what's for dinner today.
• We're all too damn picky.  The purpose of eating is to stay alive, and while our taste buds want to soak up the good life, it won't kill any of us to eat rice two nights in a row.  Or to have a sandwich or some scrambled eggs and just be done with it.  But we're always searching for the perfect choice.  And let's be real, not many of us ever finish dinner and say "That was the best home cooked meal I've ever had and debating what to eat for an hour and a half was worth it all!"
• There's just so much to do tonight.  True enough.  There's homework to finish and school lunches to pack.  There's some lingering work from the day to wrap up.  The garden needs to be watered and the laundry needs to be done.  It's hard to focus on taking the time for a nice family meal so we start thinking about short cuts and boxed food.  But we're torn up with guilt over just how bad that stuff is for us.  And in the end, we don't take the time to relish in each other's company.
• We just can't agree.  So the first four reasons are nice and logical.  And I think they can all be conquered.  But then there's this dreaded fact.  A family of four rarely agrees on anything.  Every decision is a battle.  Every decision a chance for each of us to flex our muscles, to show who's boss, to take control and get what we want.  I'm not sure I have the magic bullet for this one, but perhaps if we establish some rules and a game plan, we can make it work...with some compromise.  So here's a quick idea my family will put to the test this week:
• We'll each choose two staple ingredients we want to eat this week.
• We'll brainstorm dishes we like to eat with those ingredients.
• Then we'll each choose a main dish for the family to eat one night.
• We'll make sure at least one night's dinner is cooked in a crock pot.
• We'll leave one night open to bring in a quick dinner and one night to go out for dinner.
• That leaves just one night open, so I guess we'll let the dog choose that one!

I'll report briefly on how the week goes next Friday.  In the meantime, I'd love to hear from you on how your family conquers this age-old question, or I'd invite you to try my idea along with us this week and let us know how it goes!

Can We Go Out For Dinner?

My younger daughter and I are so alike it's scary.  Everyone who looks at the two of us instantly knows we are father and daughter.  But they may or may not realize that our behaviors are near identical, too.  Over the past several years, my daughter's anxiety levels have risen tremendously, triggered early on by the tornado that rolled throughour backyard in 2011.  Combined with what appears to be a solid dose of ADHD, she can have a hard time concentrating and an even harder time keeping her cool when she doesn't get her way.  It's been a struggle to say the least.

I've, too, have had my share of traumatic life experiences including panic attacks in college, losing my dad too soon, being apart from my mom for several years, several job changes, not to mention a tornado rolling through my backyard.  And while those are stories for another day, I think it's fair to say they have left me a little anxious, too.  I don't have the same focus issues, but it's clear I have some trouble keeping my cool, especially when combating a young child who's lost her cool.  So it's no secret if you've spent any time around my family that my younger daughter and I can go at it pretty strong sometimes.  But one thing remains constant through it all...I love her more than words can ever express.  And every night, I lay in bed wondering how to make things better.  How to teach her the necessary lessons in life while balancing that with letting her just be her.

Tonight, for at least one night, I found the answer.  My wife and older daughter were off at dance class so it was just me and the young one.  Coming off three straight nights of knockdown, drag out, steel cage match, battle royals, and feeling a little lost, my daughter said to me "Can We Go Out For Dinner?".  Now on most week nights after a stressful day of work, I would have said no without hesitating.  But this night, I paused, thought about those night laying in bed thinking about how to make things better, and said yes!  I set out two parameters for her before we left:

1. You need to show me you can behave like a young lady.  You need to sit nicely and have a nice dinner.
2. We are going to take some time to talk about what's been going on and figure out how to make things better.

And off we went.  We shared one side of a booth, hugging hips.  We colored for a bit.  She read to me from the book she was assigned to read this week.  We had some bread.  We talked about our feelings.  We ate our dinner.  And we talked some more.  We even came up with a plan of attack for when she starts to get a little angry.  And I think if I can do my part, she'll do hers as well.  We came home and she went to bed without a single fuss, which on the heels of the last three nights, was a much needed reprieve.  And perhaps a great sign that if we all just stay calm and keep our heads on straight, we can make this work.  I know it's just one night, and I know it won't always work, but just having a plan is a start.

So tonight's lesson?  Food can really bring people together.  And if the plan works, I'll share it in a follow up blog post soon.  Wish us luck!